All About Venus Retrograde

Love is going to spark, ignite, and fizzle out over the next month. Sometimes we ought to tend to the flames, and other times, we should leave it to smolder. When Venus heads into retrograde on May 13th, we’re going to have to rethink, review, revise our relationships. A good rule of thumb is looking for the smoke signals. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!

A Crash Course on Venus

Venus in mythology and astrology is the divine goddess of love, beauty, indulgence, and relationships. When we want to know what we look for in our partnerships, and how we express ourselves, we ought to look at Venus. This placement in our birth charts are typically not sexually driven. If anything, your Venus sign dictates what an ideal partnership should be on both your end and their end. It also denotes what you’re attracted to, and where you may indulge. If Venus falls into any of your Houses, this can indicate where you may find love, the sign of a potential lover, how this area of life affects your partnerships, and so on.

So, let’s quickly break down Venus as a power-play in a natal chart! In my own chart, I have Venus in Aries. Typically, this is hailed as a detriment placement as Aries is the polar opposite of Libra, which is exalted in Venus. Nevertheless, I persist. As I have an Aries Venus, this infers I am a hotheaded partner. I want passion, drama, lust, excitement, and the thrall of romance. Aries Venus looks for someone to be a partner in crime. As I am an independent, excitable person, I expect the same from my partner. There ought to be loyalty, generosity, and vulnerability. I may even use insults as a mean to flirt. My ideal partner should be someone who takes the backseat in the relationship. Or someone who can match me. It’s pretty much one or the other with Aries Venus. This is a placement that doesn’t give up easily without a fight. One thing to note is how quickly the love comes and goes. I may fall for someone very hard and fast, but be over them in a week. This can leave partners feeling blindsided. As my Venus is in my 8th House of Taboo, this is a highly sexual placement. I may intrinsically be attracted to, or attract, those with significant Aries placements. Because of this, the passion in the relationship is full throttle. The flirtation may be extremely sexual in nature, often using physical touch. However, as my Venus is in the 8th House, this also indicates that I keep parts of myself hidden from my partner. While I may devote time and energy to figuring them out, I won’t be as quick to let them figure me out. When investigating their character, I will be upfront and bold. This is an unapologetic placement. I don’t care about asking the question as long I get honest answers. Because of the 8th House influence, I also may intrinsically know when my partner is lying or hiding something. All in all, an extremely intense Venusian energy.

Like Jupiter, Venus is hailed as a benefic planet. As our sole minor benefit, Venus grouped in as a core planet. This infers that because Venus is in close proximity to the sun, it’s more individualized than shared. Since Venus is the second closest to the Sun, it has the second shortest astrological transit. Because of this, Venus’s retrograde period is slightly longer than Mercury’s Rx period. In comparison to Mercury, Venus will have a slightly longer stay in a Zodiac sign. This may explain why you and your birthday buddies may have the same Venus sign, or a natal Venus Rx.

Discourse in Love: Venus Rx

With the idea of how Venus operates in our birth charts, let’s look at how a Venus Rx may play out. Retrogrades are a time to hit the pause button. “Rethink, review, revise” is the ultimate mindset! The planet is where we hit pause, the Zodiac sign amplifies the nature of the Rx period, and the House it’s transiting in is how a sector of your life will be impacted.

Venus Rx is essentially dealing with every recently dead or impacted relationship. The relationships may be platonic, romantic, sexual, professional, or a mix. Essentially, the relationships may vary. However, the relationships that will be under a microscope are typically significant relationships that have had a lasting effect on you. I wouldn’t be surprised if soul contracts came into focus at this time. Soul contracts are often between two soulmates, who meet and trigger the beginning of a transformation in one another. Although soulmates, this typically doesn’t equate to romance and sex. It can be two friends who have soul contracts, mentor and mentee, and more.

To make this easier to understand, let’s compare Venus Rx to Sex and the City in its entirety. Throughout 6 seasons, Carrie Bradshaw engages in multiple partnerships, but one stands out in particular – Mr. Big. No matter who she’s with, or what she’s doing, Carrie find herself consistently circling back to Big. The boundaries are often murky between the two, which in turn, causes a great deal of pain. The drama that surrounds them often keeps them apart. Sometimes its self-inflicted, sometimes its circumstantial. Although Carrie may find herself committed to other men, she still ends up back at square one with Big. And although Big marries someone else mid-way through the series, he still ends up back at square one with Carrie. Big and Carrie often mark how Venus Rx can feel with a friend, an ex, or a soulmate. They find themselves innately drawn to fixing their relationship, which doesn’t always work. Big and Carrie try to be friends or be together romantically, but it doesn’t come into fruition. While the love, chemistry, and friendship is apparent, they often cannot work their differences out for a longstanding period of time. Yet no matter the hardship, they can’t stay away from each other for long. It appears that Carrie and Big often trigger one another to mature. Individually and collectively, they grow as characters throughout the show. The series finale is also like the end of Venus Rx. After learning their karmic lessons, Big and Carrie are able to come together finally. But keep in mind that this only occurs after serious heartbreak, drama, and periods of separation.

Although short in comparison to fellow planetary retrogrades, a month to hit pause on all relationships will feel like 6 seasons of Sex and the City. You and your Big may try to come back together to right the wrongs. If this is romantic, this could be an ex who desires reconciliation or a second chance. If this is platonic, a former friend may pop up to pick up where you left off. If this is sexual, the old flame may try to stoke the fire yet again. If this is professional, your fellow coworker may try to fixate on the relationship at hand. But whoever is reaching out to rectify the failed or failing relationship is ultimately adding fuel to a dying fire. Someone will get burned.

As Venus Rx is occurring in the sign of Gemini, it wouldn’t be surprising if you were to have multiple conversations about this failed relationship over the next month. Some ex’s may feel the need to reach out through text or social media to open up the conversation. Your conversations may go back-and-forth all month about what you want to do, what they want to do, and where to go from here. As Gemini is the sign of the Twins, it may feel like a two-faced conversation. You may feel one way, but express yourself another way. Gemini is also a sign that has the shadow attributes of drama, lying, and deception. So, it’s possible that your failed relationship reflects aspects of these shadow attributes. Keep in mind that the desired reconciliation may also be colored by the shadow attributes. All in all, the Gemini influence will invoke indecision in all your choices. You will be faced with two paths – back towards the relationship, and away from the relationship. The immense indecision can be overwhelming. It may easily cloud your judgement, especially when it boils down to “Do I stay or do I go?”. Keep in mind that retrogrades are usually not the time to make life-altering decisions. For the purpose of Venus Rx, said decision could be re-igniting a relationship.

This period of time isn’t to fix the errors of a relationship. It’s simply meant to highlight ways the relationship failed, and perhaps, the other P.O.V. of why it failed. However, one hall-marker of Venus Rx is that most people will jump back into the relationship in efforts to save it. Likewise, some may try to solidify a new relationship. Again, this isn’t the time for relationships to be affirmed. If anything, this is the time to sit with the relationship at hand to consider all aspects. Make your decisions after Venus is direct again.

Key Dates

  • May 13: Venus stations Rx in Gemini (pause on relationships)
  • May 14: Jupiter stations Rx in Capricorn (pause on growth/expansion/luck)
  • June 5: Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius (directly opposes Venus Rx in Gemini, the crossroads of indecision is highlighted)
  • June 18: Mercury stations Rx in Cancer (pause on communication/travel/technology)
  • June 23: Neptune stations Rx in Pisces (pause on spiritual journey, clouded by perception vs reality)
  • June 25: Venus stations DIRECT in Gemini (time to improve and decide on relationships, slowly but surely)

Final Thoughts

Venus Rx focuses on healing, typically on the individual level. Instead of immediately trying to fix the relationship at hand, take it for what it is into consideration. Sit with your P.O.V., their P.O.V., and the events that had occurred. It may be tempting to jump in when you or the other are offering a better-than-ever deal. Apologies, words of affirmation, and even physical apologetic expressions are often difficult to turn down. Especially when it seems earnest, or if someone is pushing to reconcile at their pace. But this is the time to reconsider who to let back in, and who to keep out.

The main Venus Rx lesson is learning to forgive and forget. This can be particularly difficult when the other person isn’t asking for forgiveness or if you don’t want to forgive them. Let yourself begin to work with forgiveness. This can be emotionally draining to actively forgive a cheater, a backstabber, an unfair coworker, etc. It can also be draining if you felt like you gave 100% to someone when they only gave 50%. Practicing self- and interpersonal-forgiveness will be key to moving on from the events that had played out. Keep in mind that forgiveness is more for you than anyone else.
However, you decide to forgive, enforce it with boundaries. This can be letting someone know you appreciate their effort to reconcile, but you’d like to move on. Or fixing the relationship, but with the intention to shed the toxic aspects of it. The way you can lay down boundaries is asking them to stop contacting you, limiting contact to being solely professional/necessary, setting down reasonable intentions (I.e. not acting passive-aggressive), etc. If the other cannot uphold your boundaries, set consequences. Consequences can be disengaging from conversation, removing yourself physically, blocking them on social media, etc. I strongly checking out this article on positivepsychology.com for a comprehensive idea of practicing forgiveness.

Please be aware that you could end up like Big and Carrie – happy, in love, together at last. Or separated, with other people, on your own paths. Gemini’s influence will have the ability to open many doors. After all, Venus Rx will be the time to think about the course of relationships. It will also be the time where your standards for a relationship are illuminated. If you need direction, ask yourself – “Is this person/relationship willing to meet my expectations? Is it worth the effort? Will this person/relationship make me happy?”

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