I got exactly what I asked for, but not what I wanted.
You hear about manifesting everywhere, from websites like mine to Instagram to even Tik Tok’s tried & true methods. It seems easy enough – you ask, therefore, you shall receive. Simple. How you ask can be a prayer, or that replicated aesthetically pleasing candle spell from social media. It doesn’t really matter how you ask, or what you ask for. Usually, what matters most is the delivery of such.
Earlier in the year, I manifested under the New Moon in Pisces. The New Moon peaked in my 7th House of Union, so I manifested for a partner. I adorned my light pink candle with love-related herbs and oils, such as rose petals and olive oil. I dressed my ceremonial plat with pink Himalayan salt, more herbs, crystals, and love-related tarot cards. I took every magical and metaphysical precaution. But the real kickstart to my manifestation work was what I wrote.
Next to my brightly burning candle, I took a red pen and wrote out explicit characteristics for the partner I wanted to manifest. I thought I was thorough. After all, I wrote like two pages worth of details, from height to personality traits. I thought I included every if, and, or but in my manifestation. When I felt like I had written it all, I expressed gratitude for what the Universe has given me and mentioned that I would also accept whatever the Universe saw fit to deliver. Basically, a “you fill in the blanks for me” honorary comment. With that, I let my candle burned all the way throughout without complications. All in all, a complete spell from what I could gauge.
Over the next few months, Jupiter then moved into Pisces, which expanded my opportunities to commit or find a new relationship. To follow my New Moon ritual up, I lit another adorned candle and manifested to meet this potential partner while Jupiter was in Pisces. At first, this was slightly overwhelming as I felt like I had too many options. Yet, one by one, they all fell away. Until the last one didn’t.
I met this particular person through a friend. Right away, he checked off every box I had for a potential partner. He was meeting all of my desired ideals and expectations. Even the signs I had requested during my manifestation process were ongoing. However, what I didn’t notice were the red flags. About six weeks passed by, enough time to reflect on the beginning stages of this relationship. Towards the end, he started to act and display characteristics that I simply could not stand. I didn’t feel like it was compatible or worth pursuing, so it ended.
Afterward, my friend brought up the partner manifestations that I had written down. I went back to reflect only to realize that while he embodied everything I had asked for, the aspects of his personality and behavior that were not accounted for were the “fill-in-the-blank” missing pieces I had not anticipated. In hindsight, I realized I got exactly what I asked for, but not what I wanted.
As we approach the Full Moon in Pisces, I am still thinking about how my manifestations for the partner didn’t go wrong, but also didn’t go right. Yes, the person I have written about absolutely check off every single characteristic I had asked for in a partner. But, this person also exuded traits and behaviors I didn’t account for.
Similarly, I had manifested under the Gemini-Sagittarius eclipse portal back in 2020. During that time, I had manifested according to my career and foundation, asking for a career that would be sustainable and fulfilling. Much like my partner manifestations, I was specific to a certain degree but also not enough. A year later, said professional manifestations didn’t come about until the second Gemini-Sagittarius eclipse portal. The next thing I know, my astrological career is taking off. I was able to step into my astrological career path fully, but I never anticipated that this would be my career. I had assumed that my career manifestations would lead me down a psychological path as that is what I went to school for. Instead, I went down a career path less traveled. While this career is fulfilling and sustainable, it is also still not what I expected – it’s better.
Manifesting is a delicate art, especially when you ask for something as complex as a partner or career. You need to be specific, more specific than you anticipate. You have to account for all the pros and cons when you manifest, ask for the red and green flags. Sometimes, you get your dreams fulfilled tenfold as I did with my career. And other times, you get what you wanted to a certain degree with caveats, like my brief relationship. As I reflect on my major manifestations coming to fruition this year, I realize that the beauty of magic is the fuck ups.
I fucked up. I didn’t get specific, I wasn’t as intentional as I wanted to be, and I learned some hard lessons. I waited for a career to develop for months, then it was the more unlikely career out of my two potential paths. I had a brief fling with a fun, interesting man this summer who met my bare minimum standards and ended up being tragically underwhelming. All because that when I had cast my spells and manifested my ideal thing, I was not specific enough. I left too much wiggle room for the Universe to decided the crucial specifics.
But I needed to learn how to hone my craft by fucking up my manifestations. As I anticipate this Full Moon, I am taking a serious step back to consider how I need to be specific in my spells and manifestations. My friend jokingly says we need to do a flow chart of all the do’s and don’t’s in our manifestations. I think it’s a brilliant idea. After all, if you want something, you need to know what you are asking for with all of the black, white, and grey area details in mind.
The Crone 