Whether you’d like to admit it or not, we all are trying to find that someone who just gets it, you know? Someone who can look at you across the dinner table and answer your silent, Did you see that?, with a sharp grimace that says, Oh definitely. It’s okay, you can admit it! And after your done asking your best friend, your other friend, your mom, and the lady who makes coffee at the campus pod (hey, DeeCee), you now consult your horoscope. Then after everyone gives you the OK, the stars go, “Really? A Cancer? You’re a Gemini” and everything comes crashing down. You’re confused, did your mom lie or is it just some bullshit astrology? Well, if you want a more accurate, thorough compatibility reading with your partner, you should considering expanding your astrological horizons to birth chart readings. When looking at compatibility between two people, their Rising/Ascendant (1st House), Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars signs plus their 5th and 7th houses should be considered for compatibility. And guess what? This post covers it all! If you haven’t yet already, compute both your’s and your partner’s birth charts here so that you can compare your sign’s and house’s compatibility.
Crash Course on Sign Pairings
There are twelve signs, 4 elements, 3 modalities, 4 seasons, with 3 signs per category. Elements include fire, water, air, and earth. Fire signs are explosive, dramatic, and expressive. Water signs are natural empathizers, moody, and emotionally generous. Air signs are intellectual, flighty, and unique. Earth signs are stable, stagnant, and perfectionistic. The modalities are cardinal, fixed, and mutable. Cardinals are the leaders, iniators, and go-getters. Fixed signs are stubborn, stagnant, and occasionally combative, (y’all are so stubborn and always have to be right). Mutable signs are easygoing, flighty, and childlike. The seasons are spring, summer, fall, and winter. Spring has Aries (Cardinal), Taurus (Fixed), and Gemini (Mutable). Summer has Cancer (Cardinal), Leo (Fixed), and Virgo (Mutable). Fall includes Libra (Cardinal), Scorpio (Fixed), and Sagittarius (Mutable). Lastly, winter has Capricorn (Cardinal), Aquarius (Fixed), and Pisces (Mutable).
It’s also important to remember that each sign has a polar opposite. All fire signs have air as opposites, and all earth sign have water sign as opposites. Each opposite has what their sister sign lacks. However, both signs share the same modality. This duality can either be positive, as both sister signs learn from another, or negative, as both sister signs find faults with one another. The opposites are as follows: Aries (Fire) – Libra (Air), Leo (Fire) – Aquarius (Air), Sagittarius (Fire) – Gemini (Air), Capricorn (Earth) – Cancer (Water), Taurus (Earth) – Scorpio (Earth), and Virgo (Earth) – Pisces (Water).
So, now you’re probably wondering what’s the best for each sign, aka your sign? Obviously two same signs work in a relationship – you’re basically dating yourself! Well, each sign tends to work best with signs of the same element, or it’s oppository element. Signs may also gravitate towards each other for their modalities. Here’s a quick cheat sheet below:
- Aries: Libra, Gemini, Aquarius, Leo, Sagittarius
- Possibly: Capricorn, Cancer
- Taurus: Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces, Virgo, Capricorn
- Possibly: Leo, Aquarius
- Gemini: Sagittarius, Aries, Leo, Libra, Aquarius
- Possibly: Virgo, Pisces
- Cancer: Capricorn, Virgo, Taurus, Pisces, Scorpio
- Possibly: Aries, Libra
- Leo: Aquarius, Gemini, Libra, Aries, Sagittarius
- Possibly: Pisces, Virgo
- Virgo: Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn
- Possibly: Gemini, Sagittarius
- Libra: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini
- Possibly: Cancer, Capricorn
- Scorpio: Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo, Cancer, Pisces
- Possibly: Leo, Aquarius
- Sagittarius: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Leo
- Possibly: Virgo, Pisces
- Capricorn: Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo
- Possibly: Aries, Libra
- Aquarius: Leo, Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini, Libra
- Possibly: Pisces, Virgo
- Pisces: Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio
- Possibly: Gemini, Sagittarius
Any pairing could work, although it may require more communication and trust on both partner’s ends. Refer back to this cheat sheet as you read on to see what signs could work for celestial compatibility and house synastries.
The planets in your birth charts may have significant interactions with one another. The main planets to consider for a natal compatibility reading would be the Sun signs, Moon signs, Venus signs, and Mars signs. That’s not to say Saturn, Mercury, or anything else is unimportant, but rather, that certain signs can have more influence in the areas of love, passion, relationships, family.
Sun sign comparisons are important to see if the two get along on a basic, everyday level. The Sun represents the core ego/identity, so comparing the two signs would be to see if the Sun signs can connect on a personable level. You can compare your Sun sign synastry here. Moon sign synastry is connecting on a more empathetic, emotional level. These two Moon signs can find emotional stability together. Compare your Moon sign compatibility here. If compatibility is favorable (conjunction/sextile/trine) for Sun-Sun, Moon-Moon, Sun-Moon pairings, then the two will get along emotionally, personally, and intellectually. These two will have a strong basis of friendship in their union (especially you, Aquarius). Unfortunate, or disruptive (square/opposition) pairings could cause disputes, miscommunication, hurt feelings, feeling misunderstood, and even feeling lonely in your partnership.
Venus and Mars are the Divine Lovers of the Zodiac, representing romance versus sex, patience versus passion, feminine versus masculine, benefic versus malefic. Venus compatibility readings are super important as it reflects who each individual is in a relationship, and if said relationship will be a favorable union. Venus compatibility can be compared here. Mars compatibility is equally important as it shows how the union shares their passions, their quality of their sex life, and their tempers. Mars can be compared here. Positive Venus-Venus pairings will understand each other’s partnership style and will be able to reciprocate to what the other needs. Negative Venus-Venus pairings result in feeling unloved/unworthy, misunderstood, suffocated or neglected. Auspicious Mars-Mars pairings will result in a fulfilling sex life, shared passions, and comparable temperaments. Disruptive Mars-Mars signs could make for a sexually frustrating life, explosive or passive-aggressive fighting, and feeling unsupported.
There can also be auspicious and detrimental pairings between the Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars. Auspicious pairings between them would include an personable level of understanding or empathy of the other’s romantic/sexual style. Detrimental pairings may lead to miscommunication, sexual frustration (or no sex life), and/or feeling suffocated/neglected.
Lastly, any planet in the 1st House of identity, the 3rd House of communication, the 4th House of the Home/Mother, the 5th House of Fertility/Romance, the 7th House of Partnerships, and the 8th House of Sex/Intimacy may have more influence on how you behave in a relationship.
By comparing your celestial compatibility, you can see what works and doesn’t work in your partnerships. By knowing whether the pairing is positive or negative, you can begin to understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship better.
For the purpose of this blog post, I’m doing a quick ‘n’ dirty house synastry reading. I’ll primarily focusing on the 5th and 7th houses, but if you want to know more, you could also look at the 1st, 3rd, 4th, and 8th houses as well. Either partner’s Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars signs in their partner’s houses should also be weighed more seriously in a compatibility reading. If you want to know more about each house, go here. But for right now, the 5th House of Fertility, Romance, and Children and the 7th House of Partnerships, Marriage, and Equality is what we will focus on.
The 5th House is traditionally ruled by Leo. The 5th House is home to not only fertility, romance, and children, but also affairs, drama, self-expression, creativity, and fun. Not surprisingly, this house is also known as the House of Pleasure. This house is concerned with the areas of our lives that are associated with pleasure. This is the house where we may be challenged to go above and beyond to satisfy any hedonistic tendency. The 5th House is prominent in a relationship because it could make the relationship susceptible to emotional/sexual affairs, risk, plus influence the family the partners may build together.
If you or your partner’s Sun sign is in the other’s fifth House, then this is an exciting, passionate placement! Both people feel lucky to find one another, and have a beautiful relationship, which would naturally inspire the desire to start a family. If you or your partner’s Moon sign in in the other’s 5th house, then this is a sweet, loving placement. This placement indicates a calm, loving environment. The Moon person will feel at home with the 5th House person, and the 5th House person will feel inspired by the Moon person. This is a proud, “Look at my partner! Aren’t they amazing?!” placement.
Venus and Mars can also have a powerful presence in the 5th House. Venus in the 5th is a romantic, creative, fun energy. Venus is the goddess of beauty and romance, so she’s comfortable in the 5th House where creativity, affairs, romance, and children can blossom. Mars, god of war, sex, and aggression, is also comfortable in the 5th House. Mars can inspire a fulfilling sex life as well as fiery romance, however, children may be put off for quite some time.
The 7th House is traditionally ruled by Libra and is the House of Partnerships. This house is responsible for cooperation, balance, equality, partnerships, contracts, marriages, and purpose. This house will challenge our relationships and partnerships, making us question the value of each one in our lives. Because this is the House of Partnerships, this can also account for divorces, separations, and break-ups as well. Although negative, these diversions from partnerships serve to teach us something valuable.
Sun signs in the 7th House feel a sense of belonging to each other. This may have been a serendipitous relationship, a love-at-first-sight type, if you will. This is a magnetic, natural placement that can slowly develop into two separate people becoming one person, if the two aren’t careful. This placement would warn each person to remain independent, and may call for compromise. Moon signs in the 7th House is a sweet, loving, accepting placement. This placement will have both people feeling at home with each other. Unlike Sun signs in the 7th, Moon signs in the 7th adds stability and security, but may lack passion.
Venus in the 7th House is a very comfortable placement, as Libra rules the 7th House and libra is ruled by Venus. This may be a “rose-colored glasses” placement as each person may view the other as the perfect partner. This placement can be indicative of marriage, romance, and children, or even feeling crowded, neglected, or tense, depending on the two people’s attraction towards each other. Mars in the 7th House can be sexually magnetic, competitive, and even explosive. This placement could indicate a very healthy sex life, diplomacy in the relationship, and pushing one another to always be the best they can be, if both people have other positive aspects and are mature. If not, this placement could cause inter-relationship competition, aggression, and even hostility. If poorly aspected, divorce/break-ups/separation may be on the horizon. Mars in the 7th is an extremely temperamental placement.
Keep in mind that this was a very limited house synastry overview. More information can be gained by looking at the sign thats in the partner’s house. For example, your partner’s Libra Venus may fall into your 7th House that is also ruled by Venus, which would be a very auspicious placement. Likewise, Aries Mars in the 7th House may be an explosive, fiery, combative aspect. Not to mention, natal retrogrades in the Houses, degrees, and more! But if you’re wanting a quick ‘n’ dirty on house synastry, look to see whos planet’s fall into the other’s houses and what the signs are.
Is There Anything Else?
In Astrology, there’s always something else that can be further investigated! If you really want a more in-depth compatibility reading, look at the Mercury signs, Saturn signs, and Neptune signs for compatibility. Mercury represents communication styles, Saturn is associated with responsibility/karma, and Neptune includes dreams/illusions. I would also suggest looking at inter-sign compatibilities (i.e. Sun-Moon, Mars-Saturn, etc.).
As for the houses, check out the 1st, 4th, 8th, an 10th Houses. The 1st House is about superficial appaearances/first impressions, 4th is the House of the Mother/Feminine/Children, the 8th House is about Sex/Taboo/Death, and the 10th House (aka Midheaven) refers to the sign who’s personality traits we will take on later in life. These Houses can help explain discrepancies in areas associated with family, children, attraction/love at first sight, our relationships with sex, and who we will be more like in life.
For all of my more practiced, esteemed astrologers, you can also look at Natal Retrogrades, degrees, and asteroids. Natal Retrogrades refer to the retrograde(s) that were ocurring at the time of our birth, which is then encoded on our birth chart. Natal Retrogrades can help explain negative/difficult aspects, or potential problems that may occur in the relationship. Degrees refer to the minute and second the placement was in at the time of our birth. Tropical/western astrology also calculates natal charts from our the Earth’s perspective. However, tropical/western astrology is characterized by the Vernal Equinox, so each consetllation is separated by 30 degree segments. The 30 degree segments then accounts for 12 signs, but also the degrees in our birth charts (0-30). Anything at the 0 or 29th degrees are considered to be the more important degrees. The 29th degree (aka “Anaretic” Degree) can indicate worry, apprehension, impuslivity, and problems with decision making. This occurs because the 29th Degree is the last degree before a new cycle begins, which can create disruption and confusion. For example, if my Venus is at 29’59” degrees in Aries, then I’m only 00’01” degrees away from having a Venus in Taurus, which are two completely different Venus placements! The 29th Degree refers to karmic completion as everything has been done and the person will move onto a new cycle in the new life. However, the 0 Degree refers to the beginning of a new cycle. This degree is critical as it refers to the delicate balance the sign will face as it begins a new life. This degree indicates karma, learning everything for the first time, and the beginning. These degrees may account for relationship problems, discrepancies, etc.
Lastly, asteroids such as Lilith and Juno, may give more insight to a relationship. Lilith is our black moon goddess, the sexual rebel. She indicates our hidden passions, sexual desires, and whether we run from or to sex. Juno is the asteroid the represents marriage. She will represent jealousy/bitterness, boundaries, compromise, intimacy, and control in a partnership. These asteroids can aspect each other as well as share a House in your partner’s chart, which would have more influence on that House.
If you want to spend some more time digging the astrological dirt up in your relationship, then exploring more inter-planetary compatibilities, house synastries, and asteroids can fill in the blanks and answer your questions.
What Should I Do?
Something to remember is that astrology cannot account for everything. Astrology will never accept any form of emotional, verbal, sexual, and/or physical abuse. Astrology will not approve of toxicity in a relationship. Nor can astrology “fix” these issues in any relationship. It may point out the possibility of these problems, but it will never encourage or influence the presence of these problems – only you and your partner can. If you are in an abusive relationship, or maybe aren’t sure but recognize some red flags, go here.
Astrology is also meant to be used as another tool or guide. Astrology isn’t the end-all, be-all. It can certainly provide insight, and be fun to use, but what you choose to do with the information is up to you. Likewise, how you or another interprets the information is also subjective. In any area of life, I would caution you to use your best judgement and to not base every single decision off of responsibility (“It’s not me, it’s the stars!”). At the end of the day, only you can be held accountable for your actions.The stars know about the stars, but only you and your partner know what the relationship is actually, intimately like. Use the head, the heart, and hell, the stars, too. Go forward on your celestial love affair!
~ As above, so below.